Sweetly Broken

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Fellowship- God's way to touch us

There is a TV show that I used to watch when I was a child, called “Touched by an Angel”. I loved this show and still do, as I recently discovered its showing on TV. This show truly touches my heart, because it makes me relax, brings peace to my mind, and reminds me that God is always in control. Reminds me that angels do exist and that God hears all of my prayers, and sees every tear that I cry. If you have never seen it, know that in this show Monica, Tess and Andrew are angels that God sends to earth, to deliver a specific message of His love to specific people. When the angels first arrive, they never know what the case is about, or why God has them meet with the people. Throughout the whole show they simply wait on God, listen to him and work together supporting one another, and living a life of truth. By the end of the show, all the puzzle pieces come together and their mission is successfully accomplished. That’s what I like to see. What strikes me is the fact that many times, God reveals a little something to one angel without revealing it to the other two. Today, Tess knew that God would have this little boy live with Andrew for a period of time, as Andrew stood up wanting to say something, she gave him a nod assuring him that God just put this action in place, and Andrew submitted to it. The angels must trust one another, so that the Lord can communicate to them and through them, to the rest. For example, Monica speaks prophetically to many people that she meets, and when they ask her how she knew it all, she simply says: “I didn’t. God gives me what I need to know, when I need to know it.”

God is teaching me more and more about how he works in mysterious ways through the fellowship of other believers. Jesus stretched this idea so much, that it truly is important and even essential for a believer to be involved with other believers. Those friends that we meet, who also have the same love for God, will then be our encouragement, accountability and ways through which God will be speaking to us. Once again, because he may reveal a little something to one of my friends, and then that friend will pass that onto me and the rest. Just like with the angels. We need to always be listening to God on our own, in our own secret place, but we also need to pray and fellowship with other believers so that he can use others to work in our hearts. We need to learn how to trust one another, as we live by our faith in God. I always want to tell God how much I love Him, I want to touch him, hug him, kiss him…but I can’t do that in a direct physical way as I could do with my friends. This is what I have been learning through my recent friendships. God wants to touch me, hug me, and kiss me to show me that he loves me, but he can’t come down in a direct physical way to do these things…so he sends me friends who love him, and whom he fills with his love for me…those friends then come and pass it onto me and I know that this is from the Lord. Same for me…I then get a chance to express my love for God, by expressing it to others. How great is that? I love God! Jesus said that if we give water to a thirsty stranger, it is in reality Christ to whom we give this glass of water, because God is with us here. This is why fellowship with other believers and the way that we treat our neighbors is so important to us, Christians, because then we get to face the living God-relational God, who everyday awaits us with many blessings…and the greatest one of all- the blessing love. The angels showed me today, team work between believers which I can see in my friends, because God does work through others, and because he shows us what we need to know, when we need to know. Make sure that you are not being isolated from this great gift of fellowship…this gift that we know as church…because if God gives me something to pass onto someone else, how I will be able to do it, if there is no one in my life to pass it onto? How will I obey God, if I live a self-centered life and don’t care about others in my dorm, work or faith? I will not be able to hear God correctly by isolating myself from everyone else around me, especially those who love the Lord God. And I will not be able to be alive part of God’s Kingdom, if I choose to be alone. In my life, God mostly gives me what I need to know, when I need to know, while I am praying for someone or with someone…when I am surrounded by his children…just like Monica was. Who are you surrounded by? Who is your other part of the team; your accountability; your encouragment; and someone God uses to speak to you?

Father's Love to me

God loves me and I don’t even understand that. I don’t understand it not because our God is foreign to us Christians, but because everyday He continues to love us more and more, and once we acknowledge this fact, we are overwhelmed by His grace and love. I am overwhelmed…God loves me. I don’t understand that. Eph 5:1: “Mostly what God does is love you”. I spent the past FEW weeks on studying this verse and I still don’t get it. God loves me today.
Who am I – in the world?
I am the greatest sinner that I have ever known. I am naturally a selfish being, caring for my own needs first before even thinking of others. I am a prideful self, wanting to be known and loved. I am worldly egoistic. I am needy. I want to be heard. I speak before I listen. My heart is purely bitter. I pierced Christ’s hands…
Who is God?
Unchangeable, lasting forever Love…
Who am I – in Christ?
I am the most forgiven person I have ever known. I am supernaturally transformed into a caring neighbor. I am humbled, before the Throne of my King. I am heavenly generous. I am satisfied. I want to listen. I hear before I speak. My heart is purely holy. I abundantly free by Christ’s blood that washed me clean….
How He loves me?
God loves me so much. He provides for me more than I need. Everyday He gives me things that I take for granted: as my eyes open up- another day to live and praise Him/ another day to be loved by Him; clothes to put on; water to wash my face with; glasses to put on and see my reflection as I put my make up on; smelly soap that I like; dry and clean towel; white socks; comfortable and fitting shoes; food; watch; earrings; CDs to listen to; ability to hear; dentist to fix my teeth; paid bill for school; friends to teach me love; family that is still alive; heart that beats; clean air to breath; no illnesses; body that works; voice to praise Him; lips to kiss the one I love; hands to touch; feet to walk; soft hair; smile; food; all electronics; paper; church; BIBLE; books; fridge to keep my food; ability to taste; shampoo; more food!.....
He has been showing me more love for this past year; semester; week; day… this past year he answered my prayers regarding grace…he taught me about his majestic and never ending grace for us and for me…grace that allows us to live another day…make another mistake…grace that calls me back to him... then he taught me about love of a friend…provided me beautiful and faithful to him friends who love him and because of that, they love me…this allows me to see his love, to learn how to love others and to accept his love…he taught me to love…this past week he showed me love of a father…love I have never experienced before…love that blows my mind…generous love…

…I asked him to teach me about faith…to provide for me all that I need so that I wouldn’t have to spend my little money on anything…from little things to big things…he never failed me…as a matter of fact….he gave me more than I asked him for…more than I ever thought I would have…why? Because he loves me and that love of a father allows him to know what I need to grow…let me tell you what he did:To be honest with you, all I wanted for this Christmas was: wash cloth, d-tape, floss, the Message Remix, Listerine, and I think this was it. No kidding, as I said I wanted him to provide for me all things- big and small so I would not spend any money. I prayed the list over and over. Here is what HE gave me this Christmas: wash cloth!!!, the Message Remix, floss, d-tape, Listerine…I praised him for that and he still had more: my printer broke few months ago, so he gave me a new one, but he gave me best kind- one with scanner and copier in it…more than I needed! Then, he knew I only had one pair of earrings so he gave me some beautiful ones, ones that I would not be able to afford- more than I needed! Then, he gave more books that I will enjoy, more jewelry, more random things that I will use, and…please don’t think that I am trying to brag here…I am not…I want to show you his love for me…shocking just as it came to me…then he gave me Zune…new 30 GB ipod to put my online sermons on it so that I could learn more about the gift he has given me and develop it, as I listen to others who followed him. How is that for a love of a father? He knew I am in the season of learning and developing for him, all the gifts he’s given me and so he provides what I need to do it. I praise you Father for this knowledge and love. I don’t need any of this…I thought I was already rich and set for life…yet the more I look to you… the more I share my heart with you…the more you know me…and the more you see my needs... the more your love provides for me…without me even asking you…you know what I need before I even ask for it…thank you…thank you…

He loves me…with everlasting love…love that remembers no wrongs…love that forgives me…love that is not prideful…love that does not envy…pure love…unconditional love…why? Because I am his child…he gives me things because he wants me to have more than enough…so that I could use it for his glory…to praise his holy name of love…he is my daddy…he wants to give me everything…he gave me this world…this world belongs to him…all that belongs to him belongs to me…because I am in Christ…and Christ’s blood cleanses me from my worst sins…from my bitterness…from my selfish nature…and from my pride…my God loves me…I can’t comprehend that…and if he loves me that much…and if I am the greatest sinner I’ve known…how much more he also loves you…and if you haven’t accepted his love yet…he loves you even more than you can imagine…and he is waiting for you to accept his love…to give you more and more of what you think you might need… to give you his son Jesus Christ…to give you eternal life...to give you peace…to give you joy…to give you home…to give you loving friends…loving parents…loving spirit that will dwell in you and be your best friend and helper...he wants to give you love…take it…tell him you want it…believe and rejoice…accept and glorify him…praise him!
I am not anyone special...i grew up in a poor home...poor spiritually and poor on positive emotions...home with a little love...and poor in a physical sense...God met me there..and took me on a journey...since then..he was more than enough...best friend who listens...dad who cares and provides...and God who loves me...that's why i dont get his love...thats why i have a one full life to observe his love and learn it...and pass it onto you...

"You comfort me with your love, with your hand you’ve rescued me, your righteousness, has made me whole, who is like you, Lord. There is none like you, no-one else compares to all your majesty, the world will know your name as you are lifted high and all will bow down. Who is like you, no one else compares to everything you are to all the things you do. Who is like you, I live because you are my everlasting arms, you are so beautiful. You caled me by name, when I felt lost, with your words, you heal my heart, your loving hands restore my soul, who is like you, Lord. There is none like you…."

washed in Your blood

The walk of shame they put you on,
As a result of the Roman game
Is too long as you fall on your face
Leaving the sweat of your holy grace

100 pounds holding you up
Stripped of all your clothes, my God
You’re looking down as the people pass
You’re looking down deep into their hearts

Son of God humbly you came to earth
Son of Man you took all my shame
Jesus Christ you are the only Lord
Jesus Christ you’re my precious God

Son of God you’re hanging there
Looking down at my shameful face
What did you see in me Lord?
Humbly you took what I deserve

Through the bloody eyes you saw me there
Washed in your blood that was in them
Your hands so stretched out for me,
Telling me you see my broken heart

My God you’re doing this for me
My God I don’t want to see
You go, through all of this
My God please help me see

Drop of blood falls down on me
The conviction of all my sin
The forgiveness of everything I’ve done
And the love that sets me free, my Lord

My God you died there for me
My God you’re all that I now see
Washed in your blood from that cross
My God your love has covered me

Son of God humbly you came to earth
Son of Man you took all my shame
Jesus Christ you are the only Lord
Jesus Christ you’re my precious God

My God you died there for me
My God you’re all that I now see
Washed in your blood from that cross
My God your love has covered me

My God you’re all that I now see Washed in your blood from that cross

Dancing with the King

Sanctuary- an orderly place, with worship team on the stage, congregation singing and awaiting the pastor to give a life-changing [or boring/dry] message, smiles at familiar faces, few handshakes to welcome ‘the new’, and an appropriate position of a Church- goer: sit in silence, worship standing, and faces looking nowhere, but at the pastor, showing their interest and ‘involvement’. Church- as people, for which Christ Jesus died, few believers living out their faith and worshiping the Lord with their bodies and lives 24/7, laying on of the hands to pray for the needy with a trust and faith, that God will do His work, belief that Jesus Christ is alive and His Holy Spirit works among us, on daily bases, the appropriate position of worship is not required, as the body is the temple of the living God- the body always worships its Creator.

There was a homeless man, looking dirty, having old clothes with holes on, rejected by the society ruled by materialism and pride. He was weak, because his body was taken over by hunger and thirst. He was never invited into the Sanctuary, because people were ashamed of him, and thought that his presence and image would scare away the new visitors, as the church claimed to be ‘an outreach’ place. He tried to get in few times, but the security of this church, escorted him out to the front of the parking lot. There was something mysterious about the faith of this man; he knew that church was the place to be and he trusted that every day was new day, and that God’s mercies were new each day, so he kept coming back. Sunday service- he was there, Wednesday afternoon service- he was there and so were the same people, but nobody dared to talk to him or feed him. Until one day, when two young men in their 20’s maybe, who just graduated from college, visiting the town drove by him and saw his heart of faith and brokenness. They parked the car, prayed in their hearts, and led by the Spirit of God went to meet him. He nodded with his head bowed down, sitting on the cold winter ground, as he was too weak from hunger to try to stand up and his humbled and broken heart, that was constantly stabbed by other Christians and society, was also too weak to make an eye contact with another. John immediately took his coat off and put it on the man with gentleness of an angel and respect, as for the king. The man said, he was just a little hungry, and all he needed was a piece of bread to get him on going. The truth was that the man was suffering not only from hunger and broken heart, but also his right leg gave up on him, from an early car accident and he couldn’t move or stand on his own. Peter saw his little stick that he was using to move around, lying next to the man. The Holy Spirit revealed to the young men, all of this, and gave them faith to pray for this man’s healing and renewing of his heart. Peter said: “Sir, we don’t have much ourselves, but what we have we will give to you. In the name of Jesus, be healed and walk!” Then Peter stretched out his hand and helped the man up. Instantly the man was healed and strengthened. His hunger was gone, his heart was made new and clean, and the broken bones in his leg were also rebuilt and healed. The man began to walk, jump around, and praising the Lord Jesus for the gift on which, he so faithfully waited for all of the years. He was dancing, dancing and dancing, for the One who gave him this life of joy and heart of worship! Peter and John were standing there smiling, clapping their hands and praising the Lord for the blessing. The man couldn’t hold the joy inside of him! He kept on shouting out the name of the Lord and giving Him thanks and praise! Meanwhile, the service was disturbed by the noise coming from the outside- un-orderly noise! Some of the congregation went outside and saw the homeless man, dancing and hugging Peter and John, while praising the Lord! They never saw him walk like this before, so they thought it might have been another man. But the more people came out of the church; they knew exactly who this joyful man was! They were ashamed, in their embarrassment and disorder of worship that they didn’t know what to do, because, they were able to see, that this dirty and homeless man, was now shining a light stronger than the whole congregation all together! They knew that his joy was real, his worship honest and his praises filled with God’s love! That day ALL people saw him rejoicing and praising the Lord. The religious order was disrupted by the living God walking and dancing into the temple! The living God, made himself known to ALL the people in that church, and many were attracted to His mystery and glory. He glorified the man so that He could be glorified, among those who were most lost. The homeless person, fully human, filled with the miracles of God through his faith in Jesus Christ alone, and clothed with the presence of the Creator; the man became one with God. The man didn’t care about the proper order of worship made by men. He himself became the temple of the living God and that meant, he became an offering of worship, at the altar of God! That day, Peter and John didn’t attend the service, because they had their own church going on with the homeless man, worshiping, praising and dancing for the King of ALL people, to the order of the Holy Spirit and His anointing.

Oh God, May I always be united with you Lord, rather than people. May I be a daily temple of the living God, rather than merely attending a temple made by men. And may I reflect your glory and dance for you, so that ALL people would see and hear who you are and the joy that you give me. Cloth me today with your presence and fill me and my friends with miracles, for you are the living God, whom I serve and love. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.

[Story retold from Acts 3, as I would see it in today’s church. The crippled man in Acts was also rejected by pride and religious order. In today’s world of worship service being put together in a way that is orderly, and goes smooth, think about what it means to truly worship the Lord. And when you think about that for yourself, think then about, how far you are willing to go with your praises, joy and dance for the King and with the King!]
Michelle, this is for you! Never stop on DANCING for the King, who every time asks you to dance with HIM! Continue to reflect His joy through your worship!

The Joy of The First Man

“Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Man said. [Genesis 2:23-Message Remix]. The Man said finally! After naming all of the animals and working hard for God and being with no partner, God gives him the greatest gift- a woman, to live with, to laugh with, to play with, to talk with, to sleep with, to praise God with. A partner for life! When I read this version, I picture the man jumping around; dancing for the King and praising Him for this beautiful creation- for love; thanking God for the woman. FINALLY! He said FINALLY! The pure and original image of love and fellowship with one another, in marriage and friendship appointed by God. The man had respect and honor for the woman; he knew what it meant being alone and when he received the partner for life, who would be faithful to him, he didn’t even dare to try dishonor her. Instead he praised God for that creation. I long for this kind of love in my future spouse. I long to be the woman created for that ONE man, with whom I can praise God forever and be stronger in my service to Him. Why do woman today, give up so easily on this picture? They give up on waiting for the man God made for them, and also they give up on their purpose by lowering their standards and living unholy lives. They don’t see themselves as beautiful or holy anymore. Why don’t men seem to scream “Finally!” when they meet the girl? Because most of them are not used to waiting, and being busy with God’s business before anything else. “Finally! Bone of my bone!” This implies respect and honor for another, because the two were made out of one, and the two once again become one, in the time appointed by God. This “FINALLY!” puts smile on my face, and purifies the polluted image of purity, that the world put into my mind. I pray that God will speak to you through this story of hope, love and even more love! May God draw a picture on your heart and mind of what it means to be that man and that woman, whom God made to always glorify Him and to be united together in one, as He leads you to each other in His proper and perfect time. I’m excited!

Restoring the Beauty

American girls are some of the most beautiful women in the world, and yet at the same time, they seem to be the most broken and unsatisfied -with their image -women in the whole world. Why? The image I attached represents what most, if not every girl in America goes through. Beautiful on the outside and yet so broken and crying on the inside. The pressure to date, to be a sex object, to look nice, to put make-up on everyday, to be nice and polite, to serve men, to be hospitable, to go along with the crowd and many more things, make the young woman scream and be broken inside. Only few can hear the cry, and for sure God can. Think about how broken His heart must be, to see His creation being beaten up by culture and refusing the natural beauty that He’s given it. American girl: smile that warms you up, hair expressing creativity, freedom and passions; heart full of desires to make a difference; dreams of reaching out with love to others; words that bring peace to your mind; beautiful (sometimes long) legs that will follow the calling; hands always stretched out to hug someone; body- the holy temple of the Holy God; energy that never leaves you bored, and a longing for life-time love relationships. All made in one, by God. All good, all full of potential, all filled with His personal touch and purpose. All sacred, designed for more than any of us can imagine; designed to be holy and to honor Him- the Greatest Lover that any woman, can ever long for or experience. I wonder, if the beautiful women truly are unable to see their beauty- the reflection of the Creator in themselves- when they look in the mirror or on their pictures, as if they are blinded by Him for some mysterious purpose or if they choose to live in denial? I think that they don’t see it, because the only one blinding them is Satan, the creator of lies that get stuck in their minds and hearts, every time someone disgraces the temple of God. The only mystery the Bible speaks of is the mystery of God’s power, goodness and all of His creation. The mystery of His love, which He obviously revealed to a woman by making her a woman, a beautiful woman. I struggle when I see my beautiful girlfriends, beating themselves up for some fake idea of what beauty is; I struggle when they think I joke when I say they are beautiful; and I struggle when they can’t see their true identity in Christ Jesus. How much more does the Father struggle with this? It is like telling Him: “God, it was great, but this nose- you made it too big, this tooth- too crooked, these eyes- sorry, wrong color, these legs- yea, cool for you, but I don’t like this spot of fat formation, my stomach- lets not even go there, and my eyebrows- oh God, why eyebrows?” So they turn and go to another creator- the world, mtv, Hollywood… and their doctor says: “oh yea, you are right, this is a little off, but I am better… let me fix it for you!” And even after ten operations, they still cry and break on the inside…they do it silently in their own rooms, when nobody is watching, because now, they appear beautiful to themselves, but they are still not satisfied…it goes deeper than one’s appearance. God spent so much time on creating each one of us, both women and men. Read psalm 139 it will blow your mind away, on hearing about the precision of God’s own hands making you! And you were made marvelously! Sculpted from nothing into SOMEthing! Something beautiful, a matsterpeace. The image I gave you of American women above, is for all girls in this world. It is true image of what God has revealed to me through my friendships with those girls. I encourage you to encourage your girlfriends, and even guy-friends by giving them complements NOT on their clothes, shoes or make-up, but on their natural beauty that reflects the image and love of God, our Creator. Tell them that they are beautiful- look in their eyes and say that you mean it. And pray that you and your friends will also be able to see it. In times of dishonor for God’s temple and impurity, only prayer will allow us to see God’s original intend and creation at perfection; creation of which you are a part of- an important part.

Oh My beautiful and precious God, I pray that you will enable my friends to hear this message- this cry of my heart- for justice and restoration of the image of purity and woman which you created to shine your light through. May, not the make-up and clothes, cover up your light, but allow your light to become even stronger in us, so that it can breakthrough and shine through the things, that we daily put on, in order to cover up our true nature. The victory is yours and we need to see its physical reflection in this corrupted world; it starts with a prayer- the spiritual weapon, so God teach us how to pray, so we can hear and see you around us, so your beauty may be reflected to us and through us. You make all things new, please make us new Lord. In Jesus Holy and Precious name, I pray. Amen.

God's Love

God the Father said to my friend: “I LOVE you.”
The word love was much more than what we mean by love when we use it, or what we could ever comprehend without His revelation. It is a love that comes in the most dark moments, and covers the whole earth with the blood of Jesus, as an offering of restoration to our souls and bringing the comforting Presence of the Father to our broken hearts. “I LOVE you”, this kind of love covers the whole earth saying, “God is in control.” God loves this one individual so much, that He is willing to stop everything and in one instant, cover the whole world with His love and peace, for the well being of that one child of His. He is so in love with each of us that He can make the whole world change, in order to take care of that one hurt child of His and still make all things work according to His good will. The child is always a priority! He LOVES the child to extend, greater, than the world! Than all other matters or politics. A child needs a hug from the Father and the Father stops all events and runs in one instant, to meet with that one child of His, which He so dearly loves. We all are that child. What a Love that covers all of me and all of the world, just to give even more to me; just to be there with me. I was not created for the world, the world was created for me. I have priority over the world, because my Father Loves me. Nothing else matters: how righteous I try to be, how good my deeds, or the degree of my faith that I might have. He Loves me! Simple, but He loves me just as I am; broken, rich, poor, with all of my imperfections- I am His and He is mine. He LOVES me. When this truth of a Father is revealed, His LOVE can be truly received!

Jesus called my friend PRECIOUS. Precious here also means more than what this earth could ever represent. We are a Precious Crystal that is very important to Him. We are Precious, because everyday He takes care of us, and He longs to take care of us; He designed this Precious diamond to be taken care of. Once the Diamond is in His hands, it will always be Precious; it is transformed into perfect beauty and richness above all other beauties! We are PRECIOUS. He LOVES us, with a Fatherly love that is beyond anything we know. He always has that covering over us, daily He polishes that Diamond to make it shine again, because the dust tends to rest on it. This allows us to be constantly Precious in His sight. PRECIOUS- word filled with eternal beauty, kindness, goodness, gentleness, peace, patience and love. Oh, God, let us awake even for one moment to that reality of Your Fatherly love always covering over us; created for us; given to us and that which will never run out. Thank you for making us Precious and cleansing us from the daily dusts of this life. Thank you for loving, LOVING us in a way that you specifically come to us and comfort us. My worship is, all of me for all of you. Your Love, is all of You for all of me. Thank you!

On Grief and Christ's Body

“In fact some of the parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we cloth with the greatest care.” 1 Corinth. 12:22-23 The mystery of the members of Christ binded together in one fellowship- one body, is once again brought to my attention. The reality of the Living Word of God, is being unlocked and making sense to my mind, once again. The Bible is truly a living God-breathed Word that transforms all things, and all people. When God brings friends together, is it not only for the ‘glad’ times of celebration, but also for the support and strengthening, as they fellowship together in times of ‘suffering’.

My best childhood friend- grandpa died when I was 9 or 10 years, and it was shocking for me to discover the reality of death and life. I didn’t understand the grief I felt then. I just knew that my best friend who was there to give me candy, talk to me from behind the mysterious cloud as he smoke his fifth cigarette, and let me watch his favorite and funny shows with him, was now gone. He was not at all perfect, but for me he was good. I cried on his funeral, for I knew that he would not be there again. I tried not to cry too much, because I knew it would make my mom cry even more. My cousin and I, found comfort in each other, as we went on that day and the next months. I prayed for him ever since. I still continued talking to him about my life, because I knew that God would let him hear me. Other than this, I have never experienced a true grief for a family member of best friend or even close friend.

“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” 1 Corinth. 12:26 This semester I have already experienced a shared grief, at least two times. And it is the most odd thing for me to go through. Two of my friends lost their best friends, and once I saw their broken heart, I could not help but find myself in the same place of grief. I don’t feel the same extend of grief as they have, but feeling even a little bit, I can’t even imagine how it must be to feel it first hand for your loved one! “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it.” So true, but why? Even if I feel my friends’ grief, I still cannot be there as their friends were. I can’t say much to make them feel better. I can’t do anything to help them. I can only pray… for them and for myself. Maybe this grief that God spreads between His body, is a way of caring each other burdens? Maybe this partial grief/ suffering of parts, is the moment when we need to stop all we are doing and help our broken part in suffering, by helping them carry their cross? Even Jesus had that help, when He carried the Cross. “One part suffers, all suffer…” What a mystery of fellowship in Christ. Grief is one of those times that puts us at a distance with one another, and yet, at the same time its mystery draws us closer together. It helps us see the value of friendship and the gift of life received from God. It exposes us to the reality that this life, is our short-term mission field, filled with purpose and when the purposes is fulfilled, we are going back home. And that is the ultimate reward for a life lived well, according to His will- to go home. Home to a place free of grief, but filled with constant sound of praises, sung by those who are with the Father now, and know the joy everlasting.

To be the kind of friend, father, or daughter that is missed after their departure is a gift of grace from God. To miss a friend after their departure, is a sign that God’s gifts are good; that God knows what we need and He will always provide that for us, because He loves us. These things leave our hearts in search for me; in search for the everlasting life that covers all of the grief and emotions that human beings go through. Grief, gives us a longing for more of God, because it is only God who can fill our hearts anew and make them beat again, with more joy and love, than before. “..and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad” Grief comes and goes. Memories remain. God continues to provide His perfect love to all who need healing, and makes the heart that suffered most, overflow with blessings for the whole body. For the parts, find it hard to be healed, unless they are healed as a whole with the specific one that was in the most pain. They all have the strength to keep on going, because they all support one another in their suffering. They will all laugh together again, when each of the parts is healed, and when the weakest becomes the strongest.

May Your blood Jesus, once again, cover over us and wash away all of the grief, pain and suffering. Enter the broken heart and shine light into the darkness; make the weak heart stronger and let it develop into Your Precious Stone, with all of the gifts You designed for it. May You be the Encourager in times of grief and may You fill the broken and gentle heart with Your courage, purpose and guidance. Peace I ask of You Lord, and Comfort of Your love, for all of my friends who are weak. In the most Powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Heaven

I am homesick. Homesick not for a distant country, or a family awaiting my visit. Homesick for my first and last Home, in which I was created and to which I will return. Homesick for Heaven, if you will. I never realized that what I feel is beyond the physical need of friends, family or stuff. It is homesickness for the True and Only Home, with a Father and a big table of feast. Not even best of best friends can satisfy what I now feel. I know that the Lord is with me always, and that where He is there my home is, but I still miss that almost physical, but yet spiritual REALity that awaits me. I am homesick for Heaven. Do you ever feel that? If, so you are not alone, and if so, it is probably right too. May God the Father, show you this reality that one day we will all experience; the reality of your True Home; reality that we call Heaven. And may your heart desire it, as much and even more, than my heart...

The Humble Image of a Worshiper

“Hungry I come to You, Hungry for I know You satisfy. I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry.”

My friend, sister in Christ, drew me a picture yesterday. It is a black and white picture. A picture of worship. I put it on my wall, on a eye level position so that I could always face it, and so that it could communicate to me, and remind me of the invisible worship- the kind for which I was created to live out, everyday of my existence.
On this picture there is an abstract like figure standing up, with hands stretching up, eyes closed and mouth wide open, as the figure is singing praises to the Lord. Its feet are bent as again, it can barley stand in the Presence of the Almighty. Under its feet, there is what appears to me like a shadow of this figure. Since my friend told me that the figure is a Spirit worshiping the Lord, I say that the shadow is the flesh, fallen face down before the Lord, because it can not stand in His Mighty Presence. As one’s body can not longer hold all of the treasures that God has given to the person, its supernatural and original being- the Spirit, elevates himself, because it is only the Spirit that can stand in the Presence of God. Worship here, starts with the weakest body, being set down before the Lord as an offering of praise, while the Spirit is being elevated to the highest of places- the Throne Room of the living God!

There is also some black space above and little around the figure. The black is representing the darkness of this world; the evil reality of demons and satan that we cannot always see with our physical eyes. As the Spirit is being elevated through one’s praise, the darkness breaks and the light is brought into places of distress, hopelessness, and evil, as the light wins the battle it leaves hope, faith and love as a stamp of its victory.
And there is yet another thing going on this simple, yet full of action picture. There are words right under the flesh:
“Everyone is set FREE when God, our Savior, our King, Jesus the Messiah inhabits the praises of His people.”

It took me a little bit to understand this. How can everyone be set free, when not everyone is worshiping? How can everyone be set free, when not everyone goes to Church or knows the Lord? How? And it is so simple. Think about the how much darkness, which seemed to be greater at the beginning, was broken because of the Spirit’s praises! When this happens, it is not only the worshiper’s heart that changes, but also the invisible reality in which we live! And that invisible reality affects our physical lives. So when the darkness is broken, because of the praises, then the people around you who are a part of your dorm, sorority, family and school, will also be changed and touched by this light! You may not be able to see it, but the seed of righteousness and light, will be already in their system, doing something that only God the King can do. “Everyone is set Free when God, our Savior, our King, Jesus the Messiah inhabits the praises of His people.” This happens during worship, and after worship, when worship becomes who you are, what you do and what you were meant to do for eternity. “When the music fades, and all it’s stripped away, and I simply come…I’ll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is NOT what you have required, you search much deeper within through the way things appear, you’re looking into my heart”
Once again, it is important not to let the praises end when the worship hour is over. The worship hour, should never be over for the believer. The worship song, should always be in your heart. The worship words should fill up your mind, and draw you a holy picture that you could hold onto throughout the whole day. The worship lifestyle, should define who you are eternally and whom you were meant to be, because God has already defined worship.

God, Your glory alone overwhelms me. In Your Presence I have no words to speak. I simply lay down before you and let the Spirit rejoice in You. This physical suite is too weak for Your Majestic Glory. Give my flesh strength, to hold the Spirit of worship within me, all day long. Lord, sometimes when I worship You, I feel as though my lips have kissed Your Glory; they seem to burn with Your fire of love and restoration. I can’t explain how Holy that is… but I pray that today my friends, will also be able to feel Your Holy kiss on their lips and lives. May the praises from this place, ARISE to You, higher and higher and higher, than ever before, and may the darkness be broken as a symbol of Your victory two thousand years ago, and today. Amen.

“I will exalt the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.” Psalm 34:1-2.

Humble Worshiper ...Honest Worship

“Open the eyes of my heart Lord. Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you. I want to see you. To see you high and lifted up, shining in the light of your glory. Pour out your power and love, as we cry Holy, Holy, Holy. “

Worship amazes me at this moment. I could not do anything, but worship and praise the Lord for those past weeks. I have been physically exhausted and yet, so spiritually strengthened this whole week. The word ‘worship’ alone, became alive to me. It became alive, not because I finally found its meaning or practicality, but because it has become a part of me and my lifestyle this past several days… and nights.

I asked God to teach me a life of worship and praise, through which He would be the first and only thing on my heart in the mornings; through which He would be the last words on my lips as I unconsciously fall asleep, every night. And He kept His promise.

He daily put a new song in my heart. I would sing it before bed, during falling asleep and wake up with another song coming out my heart and mouth. During a day, I would sing with His angels, as I would walk to class. “You’re the King of Glory, strong and mighty, strong Almighty God!” would be on my lips, as people passed me on the street. Didn’t even notice that they smiled at me, and unconsciously ignored them, because I was lost in my King’s Holiness.

So hard to even write about this.
Yet last night as I was singing “Holy, Holy, Holy…” I was pondering at the image of worship that I am familiar with in my Church, or with those to which I have been before, and in my college worship groups. For some reason, I can only recall couple true times, when I saw somebody worship the Lord in Spirit and Truth. Worship the Lord not only with the words of the song, but also with their bodies and Spirits. Wow…

Many times we sing great songs of worship and yet, all we do is to sing. I have this image of worship in my head. It is people worshiping with singing words as they mean them: their faces are expressing the intensiveness of their words, their heads are looking up into the sky, with their eyes closed, their lips are shouting out the most beautiful praises one can ever hear; their hands are stretching all the way up to the sides, with their palms facing the sky, as an expression of freedom, some of their palms are closed in a fist, as if they took a hold of something greater and don’t want to let go off it; their knees are bent as if they cant stand anymore and are about to fall on their knees, and all of the body stands and praises the Father in the perfect harmony with each parts.

Every part has and knows its role: the heart receives the song from the Lord through the Spirit, the mouth lets the words out and allows them to return back home, the head is facing the throne, but the eyes can’t physically handle its power, so they stay closed; the hands are beholding His glory, the ears are letting the beautiful sound of the Heavenly melody back into the body, and the knees honor the King by bowing down!

“We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus. The greatness of His mercy and Love, at the feet of Jesus. And we cry Holy, Holy, Holy, ….”
Who can stand with words like this! Who can pretend to have the strength to remain on his feet, while the King is waiting to receive your gifts! What an honor is to just come before the throne of the Almighty King and give Him your crown! What an honor for the King to see your love, bowed down before Him! HE is GREAT!

The people fall to their knees, with humble heads bowed down before the King, not worthy of looking into His Holy, Holy, Holy and full of Love and Mercy, filled with majestic light Face. Yet, His presence is so strong that being on their knees is not enough! They fall on their faces with their hands stretched out before the King, offering Him their crown, of who they are and what they have. Simple, humble, obedient and fulfilled act of worship. The part of life, that is many times only an act, but it is the King’s desire and purpose for each one of them; each one of us.

“I am falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus you’re all this heart is living for.”

Jesus You ARE all my heart is living for. On my knees, I give You all of me. Facedown, I offer You my crown. Strengthen my body, for it is too weak to keep up with Your Spirit. Strengthen my mind, for it cannot comprehend Your love and mercy. And Jesus, continue to nourish Your Spirit within me, so that it will never stop praising Your name. And in my sleep, let me dream of Your Glory and let my unconscious body worship You, so that when I wake up, there will be yet another song floating from my heart, through my mouth out into this world and Heavens, so that my friends may also know Your beauty and majesty. So that my friends, may become Your, as You have become theirs. Holy, Holy, Holy, You are Holy, Holy, Holy…Amen
“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox, more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.” Psalm 69:30-31

The Royal Robe

Today I FINALLY bought a robe. I wanted to buy it a long time ago, but I always thought that it was not worth it. So finally today I decided to make the investment, into something that was so foreign to me. But let me tell! I put it on and by the time I got to the shower, I felt so comfortably warm in this new, soft and what happened to be amazingly comfortable investment that I didn’t want to take it off and take the shower!
I always thought that the towel was good enough, just put it on for couple minutes before and after shower and quickly dry out and change. It seemed that the robe was not a necessity. And it wasn’t, but how much easier it is to put something dry on in the shower, walk to your room and relax, without being in a rush to change, because the towel was wet and cold!

And it made me think of today’s world and Christianity. Many times people refuse to accept Christ Jesus as their Savior, because they feel ‘good enough’ in the position in which they are now. And they are right. They have food, clothes, parents, friends, maybe a car, maybe few cars, and all of their material and physical needs for the day are met. In a world like that it is hard to rely on something that is Greater than ourselves. We are getting along just fine. But, if we only knew that Jesus could make our lives easier and even more royal and comfortable, we would probably all want to make the investment. But the thing, just like with my robe, is about making the investment that you think might be good, but you are not sure until you have it. What this means, is that the decision to accept Christ as our Savior is not easy, because it is an extraordinary one and not from this world, but from eternity- something familiar to our spirits, but not necessary familiar to our physical being.

Let me tell you something else. When I bought this robe on, and put it one, it covered everything! More than a towel would. You could not tell what was under the robe. The robe covered all over me. I looked different. And so it is with Christ. As I recall my investment in Christ, I recall the fact that His blood covered all over me! It covered, my past, my sins, my hurts, my sadness, and my scars. It covered my nakedness as Ezekiel 16 talks about (which you all should read!). This chapter describes the humanity in which we all find ourselves in, and the great Love of God for us, even in times when we think that we are the ugliest or the most horrible persons in the world. Because the person in this story chosen to represent each one of us (that’s right- each one of us) is a prostitute- unfaithful, full of sin, dirt, shame, hurt and lonely human being. Things we can relate to at some point in our lives. It is human nature. And God comes down to this nature that rejected His goodness and offers a hand. Verse 5 says that no one looked on us with pity or compassion, to help us, but only God had enough love to come and make us royal. Look at this: v 6-7, says that God passed by and saw us kicking in our blood; he stopped and gave us the ability to ‘live’ and He made us “grow like a plant in the field.” Then it says we became: “The most beautiful of all jewels!” And the story continues:
V. 8 “Then I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and YOU BECAME MINE.”


So when you make a decision to invest all of your mind, heart, body and soul in Christ Jesus- the Only Begotten for you, Son of God, He will automatically cover all over your past, which means that you will be made new (become a new creation- like Paul says it). You will look different to Him, to yourself, to others; you will act differently, you will speak differently; you life will be changed for the highest degree of BEST you can ever think of! Investment will pay off, but you will have to daily, put the robe back on. It will protect you from the Satan and His lies, and as it makes you at peace, it will also lead you to new things in your life that are in store for you. But, put it on everyday! Your robe is: The Word of God, and your conversation/prayer with Him. Wake up in the morning and tell God that you are His and ask Him to be with you throughout the day. If, you won’t, what will happen is, just like my friend said it: the Devil sits on your bed and will try to grab you and your life in that one instant, when you forget to put your robe on.

This is God’s promise for you and for me: “I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and COVERED you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms, and necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. […] you became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.” Ezekiel 16:9-14

As the story continues there is a warning. From verse 15 on, it says that we didn’t adore God for all of His goodness, but rather we trusted in our own beauty. You see I cannot adore my robe, but I can adore the One who provided it for me and created it- God and God only. If I adore my physical cheap robe from WallMart, I will be back down in my blood, just like in the story. I want to tell you that if you’ve fallen into this temptation of adoring your own beauty, there is hope. From verse 59-63 you can read about it. There are some consequences He talks about, but He also mentions a very important word “atonement” (63). Atonement, of Christ Jesus on the cross, where He gave His life on the cross for you, so that His blood could wash over you forever, and rose up again, so that you can not be nailed down by your shame anymore! PRAISE THE LORD.

Now it is your turn to claim it. I got my royal robe on which covers over me; Royal robe that considered not a necessity by this world and yet brings me the fullness of life through: joy, love, happiness, thanksgiving and grace. Have you claimed that yet?

A Gift of Christmas

A Gift of Christmas.

It seems that a gift of Christmas would be the best gift to give to some of my friends, or even to all of my friends this Christmas. Let me explain. I grew you in a home where we didn’t have a lot of money to buy presents for Christmas. We were very happy with having everyone home for Christmas and with having special holiday food. My parents stopped buying us little presents, when I was about 6 or 7 years of age and it was really hard to understand that change, as a child. You can see how few years of gifts, had a big impact on me as a child. So from then on, I began to lie in my school classes telling others that I got a present, when in reality I didn’t. I was ashamed of telling my peers and teachers, that I was at home with my family, simply celebrating the Baby Jesus- all that I had at that time. All that I always had. I also grew up in a country, where most people (90%) knew what Christmas was about. It was about Jesus coming into the world, and a beginning of a new story of hope and restoration for human kind.

When I was 18 and came to US, my perspective was about to be put to test. I mean real test and since then, I have been put to test every year. You see, in my country people spoke about Jesus’ birth and told that story to one another. Here I am faced with the fact that not everyone, who celebrates Christmas realizes that it is about the Virgin’s birth of the Messiah, who came here for you and for me, specifically. This breaks my heart this year. I came here for high school and during that time, buying presents to everyone was easy, because I had the money and time and was ignorant of all the distraction that I was getting into. When I got into college my eyes began to open slowly, partially because buying presents became harder for financial reasons, and also because most of my friends in this country (including me now), already have everything we need to live. And as you may know, most of the Christmas presents are unnecessary. If, I lived without something, that is not a necessity, yesterday and today, I can probably live another day without it tomorrow. I don’t think that I would need to get it as a present. Sure it could make my life easier, but it can also make my life worse, by making me lazier, more isolated, and more prideful.

The past two years were hard for me when it comes to Christmas. Together with some of my friends in college, we begin to stress out about Christmas (because of the gifts) during October. We know that people will want presents, or expect them, not because they need them or they want us to buy them, but because it is a part of tradition. Even if people say they don’t want them, it is still a part of tradition, and traditions are hard to break. And this tradition of gifts is so enforced and practiced in this country today, that it is now getting a greater emphasis than the tradition of Baby Birth. This year, I don’t want to be distracted by the cost of presents, or by the number of people that I care about and want to get them something. This year, I want to be fully anointed by the powerful story, which when I was a kid, I got so excited about! This year I want to give my friends a Gift of Christmas.

What I mean?
I want to take a risk and share this story as I remember it with those who forgot about it, with those who over the years became distracted by the enforced tradition of gifts and those who never heard the truth of what Christmas is really about. Friends, we have only about 6 weeks before the miraculous night of the Baby Birth. We all must know someone who will either be alone this Christmas or someone who never celebrated it, like believers do. I want to take the risk and share the message of Christ with those in my life, who for the first time might finally be able to hear the truth and celebrate the Christmas as Baby Birth event. I want to give them the priceless and yet, what seems of no cost to me, gift for Christmas: The Gift of Christmas.

You see, when I was a child, I didn’t have a choice but to know and believe that Christmas was about Jesus. But when I came here and was bombarded with all of the material presents and all of the stress that comes with getting the right present for someone, it was really easy for me to get distracted and put the shopping as my priority, rather than calming down my spirit and preparing it to celebrate the Baby. I am not ashamed anymore to tell people, that I didn’t have presents. Not because I get them now, but because, that helped me to remember the importance of that one night in a year, where there is peace and where there a Baby was born, specifically for me. The Baby that saved my life and restored my soul. Baby named Jesus.

Prayer of Faith

“I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you have received it, it will be yours.”
Mark 11:24

Few days ago on Sunday, while I was taking shower I realized that I was running out of the shampoo and conditioner. I also realized that I only had five dollars for possible spending and that would only be enough for one of the two. There was another realization: I would not have any time on my own to go the store this week and get the shampoo. So I simply asked God to provide for me just enough shampoo for the week, so that I would be able to wash my hair everyday and I also asked Him to provide me with new shampoo and conditioner, mentioning the time and the specific cost.

After this short prayer and thanksgiving, I simply forgot the fact that I need new shampoo. I went to buy Halloween candy on Monday and I forgot to look for shampoo. I was reminded of this again, in the shower. So, I also reminded God about it. During this whole time, it seemed that I had some kind of peace about the whole shampoo running out drama, which is weird if you think about it, because being low on shampoo is not a happy thing for a woman (or a man with long hair, as my friend mentioned). But for me, this time, there was peace. A peace that allowed me to forget about the whole matter, just as if the prayer asked in faith, was really asked in the kind of faith of which Jesus spoke.

On Wednesday I was reminded of the shampoo situation. Today was the last day I could shake off the rest of the solutions from the bottles and then it would be over. So I went to my room and had a strong feeling about calling my friend and seeing if by any chance she was going to a store. As I picked up the phone, there was a message on it from that same friend, asking me if I need anything from the store because she is making a trip there. Was this divine or what?

I was shocked! So I called her and asked her where she was, since she left me the message an hour earlier. She said she was in the store, so while I was quietly praising the Lord, I told her what I needed and guess what? She happened to be right next to the shampoo that I needed, which BTW was on clearance!!! Ahhhh! God is Amazing!
I asked her how much it cost, since I new about my limited resources that I wanted to spend on it, and again quietly I was thinking that I might just get shampoo and not the conditioner. So she said that both cost $2.43 each.AHHHH! (ahhh- which I use to express my shock on how amazing God is!). Of course I told her to grab them! And was in awe of what took place, for the rest of the night.

Then, there was more.

I also asked God to provide some bread for communion on Sunday for our prayer meeting, because I already bought some bread within the past weeks, and now I have a ton of frozen bread, but not fresh one. And I wanted it to be fresh, but if I would buy more bread then I would have more frozen bread.

So while my friend was giving me the shampoo later that night, she also said that she bought some new bread and some of it is in the bag for me!!!
I even didn’t ask her or told her about it. It simply happened. We used it for the communion and it was definitely five times higher quality bread, than what I usually buy!

Just like with the shampoo and conditioner, everything to the last detail and in just enough time for the time of need was taken care of. The prayer of faith was incredible experience to me this week. Simple question guided by trust and knowledge of who my Father is, led to faith which then created peace, that allowed for the impossible for me to come true and for further growth in my faith.

It started with an almost empty shampoo bottle and it ended, with a Divine appointment with the Father at His Supper Table.

Maybe I should pray in faith more often?

Maybe we all should.

Anointing

Friends! Today is an amazing day! What a great anointing of power and love is available to us. We just need to reach out for it. Everyday we need to reach out for it. My heart is rejoicing in hearing your praises! What a great anointing! I pray that you will claim it. I really pray that for you, with all my heart. There is no greater joy, than that which comes from the Lord who made our hearts. Oh, praise Him all of nations!!!

Communion- way to fellowship

When Jesus took the bread, broke it and gave it to His disciples, telling them to eat it in His remembrance, it was more than what we think of taking communion, today. He meant fellowship, he meant thanksgiving, he meant looking in another's eyes and recognizing the forgivennes of all sins, of all wrongs- He meant humility. There is something special about believers getting together. There are only few words that could possibly describe the mystery of it. Today I met with my friend, we talked about what God is doing in our lives and how much we love Him. We talked for hours, became very encouraged and felt anointed by the Lord, to do something. We prayed and felt connected, by something Greater than ourselves or this world. It was a mystery, a beautiful one. Just like the verse says: Where two or three gather together, I am with them. Togetherness among believers is holy. It is unity, something for which Jesus prayed and longed to see so much, that John wrote a whole chapter on it [17]. When He broke the bread and passed it around the table, there was something very powerful taking place. ‘Take it and continue on taking it.’ We surely continue on taking it, but are we doing it in the same manner? Do we look each other’s in the eyes; speak words of grace, love and forgiveness? Do we then, have the same humility to pass the bread to someone else and forgive them also? That’s what they did. Today many times in Churches, we are taught to take the communion on our own. So we go to the altar, the bread is surprisingly broken by whom we don’t know; we grab a piece, dip it in the juice, sing a song and go on. It is all about us, all about ‘me’ in that moment. Where is the fellowship? Where is the recognition of my forgiveness? Where did the humility go? It’s all about the comfort, rather than a moment of unity and the holy and necessary recognition, of my position in the Kingdom of Heaven. Think about this for a second. Communion is a very important part of Christianity. Christianity is a very important part of our Fellowship with one another.
Communion – the way we take it- defines Christianity. Christianity- how we do communion- defines Fellowship.