Thursday, April 12, 2007

Guardian Angel

I looked around and there was an Angel smiling at me. I turned around as I couldn’t believe what I’ve just seen! When I looked again, he was still there, smiling brighter than before! Second time we made eye contact and I was captured by this Peace of him and gentle, gentle… oh how gentle of a smile! He knew me and I’ve seen him before. Time stopped as we connected…two into one. There was no need for words. Only wonder and awe. I got back to the conversation with that boy… then I still longed for more, so I turned around... nobody left the room… I would have seen them…I was facing the door…yet the Angel in man’s form, was gone…him and his coffee…his job has been done. And I knew it was him again…some look…same eyes…same smile…I turned around, thanked God and mysteriously smiled at that boy…I finished my cake and happily went home.

A Miracle


“Whatever experience we may have, we shall not regard them as miraculous if we already hold a philosophy which excludes the supernatural.” CS Lewis - Miracles

Perhaps you heard this story. If not, I am delighted to share it with you. Spread the word so that people know that our Lord Jesus Christ is real, and sits besides the Father.

More than few years ago, a girl had a vision in her dream. She was about nineteen years old. She was a girl who went through a lot in her short life, and loved the Lord her God with all of her abilities. Don’t get me wrong, she was not perfect- far from that, and yet one night, the Lord had enough grace on her that he met with her. She had a vision of walking into a dark big room, where walls were made out of dirt that looked like underground gathering. There were rows of chairs on which people sat with their heads down, contemplating something, looking awfully sad. This girl walked into that room, with a typical to her attitude, and asked someone: “What’s up?” The lady answered to her: “We are just waiting.” Girl said: “Alright!” and sat down to wait with them. Suddenly the lady said: “ok. It’s your turn now.” So the girl got up and started walking, in what seemed a dark hallway, not expecting anything to happen. Then she saw glorious light start to appear before her… she wondered what that was. At one moment the light was before her, she automatically realized what or rather who it was, while her body was falling to her knees before that light and she was deeply crying out of her soul, in regards to sin. She could do nothing but to lay there… this all took place at once… in time less than one second… there was no deciding… no control of body, thought or action… only obedience of the body, conviction of the spirit, and cry of the soul… all in one instance. It was the Lord standing before her… she was at his feet, because she knew it was all she needed… just his feet…. She couldn’t handle more of his glory… her tears fell to his feet… she could sense the enormous presence down from his feet to his knees… his right arm seemed to rest on her… and she could feel his smile of love to her… at one moment, after saying sorry to him… she could speak and the only thing she could say was: “Thank you… thank you… thank you…” she could only praise him. No other words existed…

This girl or rather everything that was of her: her spirit, mind, heart, and even her body knew what had happened. It was the Lord Jesus Christ meeting with her. And all that was of her, could do nothing but to respond with obedience, surrender and praises to the King, that it recognized in that marvelous and glorious light. When the girl woke up, she was still crying…her body was struggling as it tried to find its way back to that place, where it knew the ultimate and absolute being of love… and her mind longed for that peaceful state of simple praise and surrender… to think of nothing, but to exalt the one before you…what a beautiful gift of grace and mercy was given to her…what a miracle to tell! Heaven is not a place where we will eat well, or be continuously joyful people who keep on partying with the king! Heaven is not about us- the people. Heaven is about the Father and the Son. We will return to the place where we belong, not to celebrate, but to do what we were meant to do since day one- to praise the Lord and the Father, in total obedience and perfect surrender of the mind, will and body. It will be something that every part of us longs to do, because it knows its maker and it desires to please him. There is no possible way in which we can understand this idea here and now… we ought to wait and experience it in heaven… and once we are there… I guarantee you; there will be no time to recall this story or this moment, because all that is of us will simply do what it has been meant to do- praise the king! There will be no second thoughts… no thoughts at all…each part will do its job!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

What if i stumble...

For the past few weeks or so, I have been in a place that feels like the weakest time in my faith, yet, with the conviction that this time will bring the opposite of weakness. It will be something new for me, as I haven’t been there yet, and I am in process of transformation. I have been arguing with God, the first week of this process, giving him my organic attitude on things in my life; I asked him to be normal. Normal for me meant to be like others… to have easier life in a worldly sense, to watch what others watch, to have someone special… but mostly I wanted my friends to see me as someone who is like them, someone who has problems, is weak and lonely at times and above all things, is not perfect or holy. Then I realized that I was so upset about all things in my life, because I realized that my life was not my own. I realized that I have been living not like the world, but according to God’s will, as much as I could discern it. YES! this made me more upset at God! I was screaming and crying! I wanted to leave that lifestyle, without leaving him. Then I realized that he already lives in me and even if I fall, he is falling with me. It is too late to simply walk away. I have told him over and over in my life that I love him, and he has been faithful to my promises, even though I may not always be faithful to his.

Then I was upset about my faith, which allows me to always love God and stay with him, being able to give him my organic attitude and go to all places with him. At the same time I was happy that I was still safe, because he was with me. I was afraid at some point that I would die; because of the deceptive thoughts which entered my heart and tried to tell me that I don’t need God. I am ashamed of that. Couple weeks after this, I realized that before this all started; I was praying that God would kill my pride. Simple as that. I prayed for humility. I knew that he would answer my prayer, because he always does but I didn’t know the way it was going to come to me and how long it would take. I asked him to kill my pride and he brought to the surface my ugly attitudes that I didn’t know I had toward him and myself. He exposed them not only to me, but first to others. My friends got to see the real me… the rebellious heart… selfish heart… controlling desires… the wild black dog that is inside of me and can bite. How much normal can one get? I wanted a normal life and now I have it… I am broken, I don’t dare to hide my problems anymore, my friends see that I am not that perfect as we thought, and I get to become a bit humble…I can breathe easier… God is killing my pride, taking away my religiosity and desires to be a youth pastor or a preacher… I even don’t think I can preach anymore… it is so great to give it all to him and be free!

I love God. I will always love God. I now want to love people, starting with one person a day. Just one… if I can do that I am the greatest youth leader there ever was and live out the best sermon I could ever give! If I only love people! so.. 'what if is stumble? is this one for the people, or is this one for the Lord?' [dc talk-song]