Brief Lesson on Friendship.

Have appreciated your Friends recently? According to CS LEWIS Friendship as love is not necessary for the life of human beings, the sexual/ romantic love is very much necessary, but we all can get along without friends... perhaps that's why we are so lonely today?

My Friends are amazing. I appreciate them, truly. I consider each one of them a gift... they may know this or not... but it is true... Many times when i am discouraged, I pray and than God sends me a friendly phone call from one of the friends in my life, with just the right words to speak to me. What a mystery! Many times I need someone to be there, but that needness allows me to give them a space and show me what it means to love "unselfishly", which allows me then not only to have friends, but also to become one, not only with them, but also with God.

Friendships are so "fragile" today, that it takes a playful consideration of how much you should be involved in another's lives and guidance from the Spirit of God so that you can overcome little attitudes and disagreements. Lewis says that we become friends by having the same vision, and that's why we walk beside one another discussing things and each one of us focusing on what's ahead, rather than like lovers- looking into each other's eyes. This means that by God's grace we get to walk together, support each other and discover new wonders as God leads us to his ultimate purpose. It is all about him in friendship and not about us. If we realize that, i think that there will be more life/ eternity lasting friendships formed today. So far, we are self centered, concerned with our own "good" and feelings when it comes to walking with the other person. Just think about ... you will what i mean... it is our nature to make it all about ourselves and friendship has become and easy alley to do just that... you know what i am talking about it.... you can see the names of people who responded to you in that way and you also remember times when you wanted or did respond in this way to them. It is a universal sin, we are all guilty of it. That's why we need to be re-focused and begin to appreciate our friends by recognizing that they are a gift of God and by loving him even more for this wonderful gift, we will be able to become great friends, serve one another and live in love with each other.

Friendship is a gift for me, because it draws me closer to God and exposes to me, his true nature. What is it to you? Life goes by too quickly to take this gift for granted, especially since our nature is "wild" enough to live without it. How crazy is that! I encourage you to read CS Lewis' The Four Loves... it will change your thinking about any kind of "love" or loving relationship you have- in a positive way. He does an amazing job at testing the true meaning of words for love since the ancient world to our culture today.

If you want to, please take few minutes and share below your thoughts on your friendships in life... how did that work for you? Who became your greatest friend? Could you ever imagine such a gift or possibility? I know for me, the best friends happened to be the ones, I would never choose to be friends with on my own terms!

"The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of thousand other man; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are like all beauties derived from him and then, in a good Friendship, increased by him through the Friendship itself, so that it is his instrument for creating as well as for revealing." CS Lewis, The Four Loves, 89-90

An Abstract Thought... on Glory.

As I was riding in a car, to a beautiful place this weekend… I could not help but notice the beautiful colors of the Fall season around me! The trees and the leaves they are all reflecting God's beauty! It is fascinating, because during Summer, leaves look richly green and strong, in a way. But now, when the Fall comes, they progressively change their colors from that strong and lively green [a symbol of good health, enough amount of sun and rain, and good rooting of the tree] to various shades of gold, just before they fall. It's like; even during their "departure" they seem to be more beautiful than ever before. I think, more than ever they reflect God's Glory around me. They don't plan on it, as they don't have a brain to make that decision, but it is the simple way they were designed to exist and cease, in this case. Here, I am the one able to think about it and choose to see that Glory and Beauty of our God.

Perhaps, as humans we ought to be that "green" color, while we live our lives in fullness for the Glory of God and his Kingdom, bear good fruit and as time comes for us to "depart", more than ever our focus shall be on God and instead of showing others our good gifts, work we've done and faith we've had… finally we become something totally dependable on him and can't help it, but, we being to reflect his pure Glory. Meaning, I want to live my life and use ALL of my energy wisely, so that at the end of my run, my life, my friends, the family and the church, will all be a reflection of God's Glory and his loving and transforming presence in my life, and those around me.

I think that just like for the leaves, this is less of a thinking process, as it should not be about me, but a destiny for which his people [I] were created. For that leaf, in a state of dying, reflects more life, more mystery and more beauty, than it's thought of. I want to be full of God in this season of life, I want to be strong like that green leaf appears to be, I want my life of good choices and reliance on God affect the lives of people around me. And when the time is coming, which is now and in a next minute… I want to constantly be transformed by him and want him to fill me so much, that the he would shine through me… that for him and his kingdom- I will be like that golden leaf- filled with beauty and mystery…

[Note: There are leaves of brown and not so beautiful colors… the tree's roots might have been too shallow… there was not enough nutrients in the garden… etc. I am not focusing on them, as my goal is not to simply "pass" through the life… a mere existence is not why i am here... rather, I want to honor him and bring him Glory as he first glorifies me… Just like Jesus prayed in John 17].

"What we've learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade." Romans 3:27-18 [M-Remix].

Unplugging the heart...

How can there be a limit to my praising of you, Lord? Who but you, deserves to be on my mind, heart and soul all the way throughout the day? May my mind think of nothing, but you and praise you for how magnificent you are! And my heart o God… let it know no other first love, but yours... and let it return that love to you in many, many praises. Then, there is my soul o God… who but you is in charge of it? It is my soul’s nature to give you praise and lift you up!

May my content or joy never be on a way of wanting to praise your Holy, Magnificent and Pure name! In other words, I want to praise you even when I am not smiling, because you deserve it all, by the nature of your being and the nature of my existence. I exist to praise you. Praise you not only when a success has been achieved, but right before… many, many, many days before. For what is a success, if not submission of my mind, heart and soul to you… turn around my selfish thought and focus only on your Holy, Magnificent and Pure name!

To praise you is to be selfless. To praise you I desire. Beautiful God, help me to learn to praise you constantly! For no song, sung all day long shall become monotony to me, but a joyful expression of love and obedience... and become rather rich, while I become smaller. Amen.


For the last few weeks I have been asking God to help me become less of a selfish person. For some reason, I have been feeling selfish and kept questioning him about it. The other day during worship [like a 3rd service I went to that weekend], as we were singing, I asked myself: “do I still mean those words, after singing them 5 times before this weekend?” And then I realized that my praises should be going to him constantly, no matter how many times a song should be played! So I realized that I need to praise him more and more! Like non-stop! I sat down and began to write what you just read above. As you can see, in the middle of my joyful realization and praise to him, the answer to my question came- in order to be less selfish- to become selfless- I need to praise God all day long! That way I focus on him and him alone instead of being distracted by my own self needs. What I did was examining my own heart, and simply during that worship making it available to him. This state of bringing my heart before him- making it open to him, allowed me to re-focus on him and see his direction for my life, clearer. All it took was to open my heart to him, making it willing and available. So simple! And then I was filled with a desire to praise him, with selfless thoughts and new vision or calling- for future.

“You are God, You are Life and I will worship you forever” [lyrics of a song].
The day before this, one of my beloved friends told me that when her boyfriend calls her a “sweetheart”, her heart absolutely melts! Can you imagine that feeling? It was beautiful when she talked about it… And as we were singing the song above, and I whispered to God, “I WILL worship you forever”… I felt that God’s heart was absolutely melting… it was like calling him a “sweetheart” only better. God’s heart melts when your lips and more, your heart- truly confesses this! That was beautiful and showed me even more that God desires a lifestyle of worship form us, he wants words and actions done with praises to him; he is our lover and for us to praise him is to show him love- it is to respond to him.

Friends, what happened this weekend, was that I “unplugged my heart” to God. We all need to do it. You need to dedicate you heart to God- constantly… I cannot stretch this enough. Beautiful things are waiting for you as a result of giving him your heart… my life goal is to help anyone, do just that. When you give your heart to God or continue to “unplug” it, you become in a sense ‘a superhuman’, not because you are better than others [as you rather realize that you are not at all], but because you become equipped for the right living…you become righteous because of what he gives to you [through Jesus Christ], such as: discernment, wisdom, direction, love, kindness, joy, patience, goodness etc., simply because you gave him your heart, which he created just for that. Your heart is the gateway to all blessings when you allow it to be…it can also be a gateway to just the opposite, so be careful! Examine your heart on regular basis, and praise him constantly.
Psalm 106:1 “Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.’

Honoring him by bowing deeply, his face touching the ground [1 kings 1]

Recently I have been realizing the ways in which God speaks to me, about me. He speaks to me through people- conversations with them, little things they may tell me, their interactions, their stories…he also speaks to me through pictures, things I might see on the street, while driving by something, or through a word…. He speaks to me by meaning of words…using different languages…through my discernment and compassion… and through my many dreams. I heard that if your gift is discernment, then you need to be very cautious about what you watch on tv, what you let into your mind and heart. Recently, I have not been cautious about any of these. Here is what has been happening… instead of having dreams which give me directions for life, I have dreams that are hurting me. My dreams rather than being of praise for God, have become a set of bad desires and images, that stay with me throughout the day making me feel discouraged, are heavy on my mind, give me headaches, and tear my heart apart. They confuse me… how did this happen? First it started with viewing inappropriate for God’s people images on TV, then by not feeding my soul with his word on daily basis, and by lacking in fellowship with his people and worship. Thankfully, God gave me a friend who can say a holy word of praise and the process of restoring my heart and mind can begin in one moment. But it will not last, if I don’t take the step to shout praises myself. Getting back into the things that are of God seems to be hard, but it only takes one time to do it, and chances are that your heart will be reminded of the good days and will long for more the next day. Our spirits know what is good for us, where we come from and where we belong…it doesn’t take much for them to be restored, especially when your mind is willing. Our bodies are only aware of the physical pleasures of this world, such as the great taste of food, physical satisfaction and feelings of hurt or happiness. Our spirits need not the body to be connected with God… by definition they are with God, as they are of God…unless you did everything possible to deny the love of God and turned your face to darkness.

I encourage you to take the time and think about the simple daily ways in which God communicates with you…is it by words, through the outdoors, dance, worship or people? Is it through something that you do, or something that you observe? Then make sure it will continue to take place in your life… don’t break that bond God put between you and him… it is that bond that will create miracles in your life and those around you… it is special bond created with love, for you and him… like a perfect romance…others will learn from you and it will make them desire God more… The fact that my friend’s words can restore me, is nothing else, but her right romance with God, which he created between them. We all must protect that bond...God will protect us always, but it is our responsibility to set physical boundaries from the physical poison around us, because it is us who live in the physical. What is that bond for you? In all of this, it is important not to forget about the universal bread he has given all humankind to relate to him: his word, communion, and fellowship with him and then with others.

Our gifts are like fruits… it takes a small seed to grow something very great…the fruit may sometimes appear beautiful and create a deception for itself and others, while it is slowly rotting inside- remember what happened to my gift of dreams- they began to rotten and spread that disease into my mind and heart- the seed of my being…once the seed it is dead, the fruit will die also…it is too easy for a good fruit to become a bad one… allow God to take care of yours…allow him to nourish you…he gave you the vine and the bread…now keep on taking it and be well. Feeding your spirit is essential to your wellbeing throughout each day…your music….images… words…all partake in forming who you will be tomorrow… choose wisely… learn from me… God will be faithful with you, as he is with me…


ἀγαπῶμεν ἀλλήλους, ὅτι ἡ ἀγάπη ἐκ τοῦ θεοῦ ἐστιν
- we love one another….because love out of God is-

The Sweet Goodness of God

2 Corinthians-[in the context of the whole book].

Paul [the author] is like a pastor figure to a church of people in ancient Corinth, a place described as rich because of their high economy, as the center of world’s attention, and as a place of sexual immorality and other sins- like a city of sin. For me this could be compared to today’s America- center of the world’s attention, richest country, and yet so free to sin and influence the rest of the world by its behavior- like Las Vegas.

In the second letter Paul is trying to talk about his true heart for God. People then thought that he was not saying the truth, because he was not a good looking man, poor tent maker- so a working class man, and didn’t have what it takes to be popular in Las Vegas. And yet when he spoke, crowds saw God through him. Man after man, fell in love with this powerful and graceful God that this little not a good looking man presented to them. How is that possible?

In 5:14-15 he says how that is possible, as I write it, try to actually visualize it in your head: “Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat.” [Are you picturing yourself on a boat with people you like, don’t like, bad smelly people, losers and most of all- do you see yourself in the middle of it? I do. And my face is expressing my dissatisfaction with the situation.] then he goes on: “He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.” After few seconds of this unsatisfied face… I become humbled by these words and the picture. God wants all of us to live a better life. Do you get this? He put everyone on the same boat! That would mean: the lesbians, the murderers, the homeless, the sexual predators and me – the prideful one. Doesn’t that just make you angry? For me it does for a second, and then the joy of being given this chance overcomes the ugliness of the reality. God is so GOOD to do this. For me it is amazing to be stuck on the same boat with everyone else, because I am a very prideful person. This for me is a way of saying that I am a sinner, just like the sexual predator.

Then he says [5:16-20]: “Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new.” [woohoo!] and the famous line, that for the first time I truly understand in this context: “The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!” [that means prospers, or grows rapidly!]. And then it talks about the cool relationship that God created between him and us and that we need to also create between one another. But how exciting it is to hear that, we are ont his boat all together, but God sends his spirit and people to speak to us about his love and that way, allowing us to get out of this boat and start a new life!? [ps. We are on that boat from start, because humanity has been in sin, since pretty much the first day when we got bored with freedom and all that was known as good]. Paul says [please read the text it is much better], that he and his friends became Christ’s representatives to tell people about this amazing chance! He tells them: “Become friends with God; he is already a friend with you.” [5:21] “How? You ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.” I don’t know why I am so amazed by this story! But it seems that I can only be friends and right with God, because of Christ who got all the sin from my shoulders onto his own. Sad. And yet that sadness is once again overcome by the joy and life.

I have asked myself many times these last few months: how to live? What to do if I don’t want to go to church? What does God want of me? Why me? Why church? What do I believe? And in 5:9: “Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that’s what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions.” Look at the word choice: cheerfully- willingly, gladly or with a smile; pleasing- satisfying, agreeable or enjoyable; aim- to plan, to intend, like a goal; conditions- state of affairs. So my friend let me leave you with this amazing thought, which for me expresses the sweet goodness of our God:

Friends, willingly [and with a smile] satisfying God is the main thing, and that is what I intend to do, no matter the state of my affairs. What will you do?

Divisions, even on 'myspace'

I find that there seems to be a big division between a christian world and the world. I am not sure i understand why that is, and if this is the way it is supposed to be between christians and everyone else. seems like this brings seperations, war, conflict between neighbors, men judging other men, etc. I have noticed this today. I was deciding which song to put on my "myspace" profile, then within the "myspace" you see a division! there are profiles that belong to christians and profiles that belong to everyone else. so. if i am considered a christian, I cant put a pop song on there, because i will be a "bad" christian in the eyes of other christians. i was really convicted of this division this morning and it bothers me so much. i want to hear your suggestions and responds to this. i know that the division is real and existing, but is it supposed to be that way? no wonder then that non-christians are so distant from christians, because they are able to see how stupid sometimes we can be.

I feel like i want to build a church in future that does not have those divisions, or fights them by practically serving those in need around us, and spreading the love of Christ through acts of faith.

Going into all the nations and making disciples of all the men, does not mean division from other people, or creation of a new world, but rather it means unity and living together.

Hearing God's voice

People often tell me that I have this “special” gift to hear God speak to me, or to know His will for me. I honestly don’t think this is the case. Yes, being able to discern God’s will or hear him speak is a gift of his grace on me, but that’s about it… I believe that we all can do it. Here is a practical example of how we can hear God’s voice in our daily lives. The Word of God says that “the earth and everything in it, is God’s”, the story of Genesis confirms that God created everything, therefore why wouldn’t God use his creation to communicate his love to us? Everything around us is his, isn’t it?

Last night, I finally decided to leave a college leadership team of which I was a part of. I have been feeling hurt by the church for a while, as I learned that it is hard to grow as a leader in a church if you are a woman, no matter your credentials, gifting, experience or potential. When I finally wrote the email to the team explaining them my decision to leave, I felt this great sense of freedom. Don’t get me wrong my heart was broken that I could not do what I am passionate about doing, because I was a woman and that automatically limited my progress… but there was more to it. I was free, so I told God that I still love him and want him to lead me toward the green pastures where I can play with him for a while.

The next morning my heart was full of joy! I mean real joy! I was celebrating my time with God and that freedom that came with it! Then I went to work and a friend begins to talk to me. He told me a story of a very important person in town, who’s life was set free by Jesus Christ. This man’s heart was broken as his daughter’s school did not have a specific outreach ministry, through which he was reached when he was a kid. So he proposed that they would find and full time support a person to organize and lead the ministry. The story telling man, looked at me and said, “perhaps this could be you”. I had few thoughts going through my head, as I did not want to leave the green pastures! But as my heart reflected upon that phrase, I began to hear God’s voice. It was not a voice saying: “Thus now, I will put you in a charge of ministry, where you can truly grow and fulfill thy will.” No, no! Rather it was God’s message to me saying that, He is watching over me, knows all of my needs and will get me where I need to be; sort of: “I am with you, good job!”. How cool and simple is this? How many times do we miss God’s voice because we tend to focus on our own desires and passions? You see everyone can hear God’s voice, because he speaks through people, angels and the Spirit which lives inside us. We need to have a willing heart to hear him and then we will realize that his voice surrounds us. Look at trees and see them speak to you about stillness, and strength of the Lord; notice how the trees and the grass and the birds worship the Lord by simply doing what he made them to do; and let the wind of the Holy Spirit move you gently as the wind outdoors moves the trees, to a melody played by the Heaven.

“The person who lives in the right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering inot what God does for you.” Galatians 3:11 [MRemix]

The living and transforming grace of the loving God.

1 John 4:7-13 / 18
7- “and he knows God”
8- “God is love”
11- responsibility
12- “not one has ever seen God, but…”
13- evidence of the spirit: ability to love
18- “perfect love throws out the fear, because fear punishes you..”

God is love. Love is a mystery. The ability to love is a miracle. God calls us to live out that miracle. It is in human beings that this miracle can be fulfilled, and this love comes alive in us. Human beings are a necessary part of creation that through relationships reveals this mystery of love and living God. But human beings tend to be very prideful, self-righteous and selfish and it is very hard to love people like that. Yesterday God opened my eyes, through a simple of act of story telling:

There is this girl who is about 22 years of age and she is dating this man, who is about 32 years of age. Now, their story of how they met is awesome; since the beginning her family and friends were involved in the process of the relationship. This man has two kids. One is eight years old and the other one about 2 years of age. This girl didn’t know this at first, and yet she chooses to love him through his imperfections. Grace of God is essential here, as one cannot remain in the situation like this, without God. God must be present in the relationship and one must focus on him for guidance and one must trust God. The two of them are still together, and I hear that they are very happy together and the family supports their relationship. Now, how can this be?

After I heard this story, I was in a ‘red zone’. I couldn’t understand, why a girl in my age would want such a relationship. So I went to the bathroom and had a quick chat with God, asking him for more insight into my wonder. As great of a God as he is, he answered me quickly! You see when I hear this story, I begin to think and focus on the issues: he is ‘old’, has kids, is she safe…etc. that is wrong. Realistic, but should not be the first thing that I see with my heart. By the time I was done with washing my hands, God showed me how able this girl was to love this man, beyond all of the issues! Instantly I began to be proud of her! The love of God, that mystery of the living grace is so powerful, that it can overcome the world! This truth is transforming my heart! To be honest, this truth crashes down my heart, allowing god to form a new heart… and that is good! This girl made a decision to love this man, even after seeing the messes in his life. You see, I am in her age, and as a girl in that age, I have this vision in my head of who the man of my life will be and how he will come to me. I expect this single, pretty, not married before, no kids-man to enter my life and be married happily ever after. Life does not always happen that way. I want a perfect package, but my other friend gets a package to which, ‘life happened’. You see, ‘life happens’ to all of us. My package will have ‘life happened’ to it, just like I have ‘life happened’ to me. There is no difference in how we call the stuff, as long as we are willing to allow God to change us, even if it means he needs to smash our heart. It is not about the stuff, but about the power of love, of the living God within us. I was reminded of another lesson, an hour after I heard the story:

Learn not to look at someone’s past for judgment of who they might be now, but
Only as a testimony to who they may become tomorrow, by the transforming power of the living grace of God.

Who knows, perhaps this man is a totally different person now. If not he will be, because once anyone comes in touch with the living God in us, they are affected by his presence and sooner or later they change. Only God can see ahead. This story showed me the weaknesses of human heart. I never have the courage to love, to take the risk and choose to love someone. I am waiting for that perfect package, when life can come at me in a very unexpected way. I have failed to love, to let God lead me, to trust him and to allow his grace to transform me and the other person. This story also showed me, the strength of God’s grace. He put strength in my heart to be able to take the risk and love another person, as he guides me through the process of a relationship. And that courage and love, will win in the end.

Love is a choice of the free will given to each one of us, by the loving God. It is beyond feelings or emotions, it is a decision made in the response to God’s will. His will for us is to love him and to love others. That is how he comes alive to us and in us. Simple, and yet difficult. We tend to miss this simplicity, by creating doctrines and liturgy. Love has no boundaries within religious limits; it overcomes them all!

Scripture says that “perfect love throws out fear, because fear punishes you…’makes you feel bad’..” I am afraid to love, because I see the ‘stuff’ and I fear the future consequences of them- I have this concept of punishment in my heart. yet, perfect love has no fear. Perfect means that something is completed; according to the scripture this happens when the spirit of God lives in you and when you believe in Jesus as the son of God and love God. This girl from the story must not be afraid, yes she needs to be realistic and careful, but no afraid to the degree that she fails to take the risk and love. This girl is free; transformed by the living grace of God.

Will the two of them get married? I don’t know, but I am most certain that there is a greater purpose for the two of them individually and for all who surround them in this relationship. Because the grace of God is all over in this, He provides strength, guidance, laughter, freedom and confidence in his power as they continue on living and trusting him. I am already affected by this story. Not because of them, but because of the living grace of God that is transforming my heart through this story. You see the Bible stories are not true today because we merely believe that they are true, but they are true because they continue to happen today. Not only happen but they speak to us, changing our hearts and lives. Thank God for that!

Guardian Angel

I looked around and there was an Angel smiling at me. I turned around as I couldn’t believe what I’ve just seen! When I looked again, he was still there, smiling brighter than before! Second time we made eye contact and I was captured by this Peace of him and gentle, gentle… oh how gentle of a smile! He knew me and I’ve seen him before. Time stopped as we connected…two into one. There was no need for words. Only wonder and awe. I got back to the conversation with that boy… then I still longed for more, so I turned around... nobody left the room… I would have seen them…I was facing the door…yet the Angel in man’s form, was gone…him and his coffee…his job has been done. And I knew it was him again…some look…same eyes…same smile…I turned around, thanked God and mysteriously smiled at that boy…I finished my cake and happily went home.

A Miracle

“Whatever experience we may have, we shall not regard them as miraculous if we already hold a philosophy which excludes the supernatural.” CS Lewis - Miracles

Perhaps you heard this story. If not, I am delighted to share it with you. Spread the word so that people know that our Lord Jesus Christ is real, and sits besides the Father.

More than few years ago, a girl had a vision in her dream. She was about nineteen years old. She was a girl who went through a lot in her short life, and loved the Lord her God with all of her abilities. Don’t get me wrong, she was not perfect- far from that, and yet one night, the Lord had enough grace on her that he met with her. She had a vision of walking into a dark big room, where walls were made out of dirt that looked like underground gathering. There were rows of chairs on which people sat with their heads down, contemplating something, looking awfully sad. This girl walked into that room, with a typical to her attitude, and asked someone: “What’s up?” The lady answered to her: “We are just waiting.” Girl said: “Alright!” and sat down to wait with them. Suddenly the lady said: “ok. It’s your turn now.” So the girl got up and started walking, in what seemed a dark hallway, not expecting anything to happen. Then she saw glorious light start to appear before her… she wondered what that was. At one moment the light was before her, she automatically realized what or rather who it was, while her body was falling to her knees before that light and she was deeply crying out of her soul, in regards to sin. She could do nothing but to lay there… this all took place at once… in time less than one second… there was no deciding… no control of body, thought or action… only obedience of the body, conviction of the spirit, and cry of the soul… all in one instance. It was the Lord standing before her… she was at his feet, because she knew it was all she needed… just his feet…. She couldn’t handle more of his glory… her tears fell to his feet… she could sense the enormous presence down from his feet to his knees… his right arm seemed to rest on her… and she could feel his smile of love to her… at one moment, after saying sorry to him… she could speak and the only thing she could say was: “Thank you… thank you… thank you…” she could only praise him. No other words existed…

This girl or rather everything that was of her: her spirit, mind, heart, and even her body knew what had happened. It was the Lord Jesus Christ meeting with her. And all that was of her, could do nothing but to respond with obedience, surrender and praises to the King, that it recognized in that marvelous and glorious light. When the girl woke up, she was still crying…her body was struggling as it tried to find its way back to that place, where it knew the ultimate and absolute being of love… and her mind longed for that peaceful state of simple praise and surrender… to think of nothing, but to exalt the one before you…what a beautiful gift of grace and mercy was given to her…what a miracle to tell! Heaven is not a place where we will eat well, or be continuously joyful people who keep on partying with the king! Heaven is not about us- the people. Heaven is about the Father and the Son. We will return to the place where we belong, not to celebrate, but to do what we were meant to do since day one- to praise the Lord and the Father, in total obedience and perfect surrender of the mind, will and body. It will be something that every part of us longs to do, because it knows its maker and it desires to please him. There is no possible way in which we can understand this idea here and now… we ought to wait and experience it in heaven… and once we are there… I guarantee you; there will be no time to recall this story or this moment, because all that is of us will simply do what it has been meant to do- praise the king! There will be no second thoughts… no thoughts at all…each part will do its job!

What if i stumble...

For the past few weeks or so, I have been in a place that feels like the weakest time in my faith, yet, with the conviction that this time will bring the opposite of weakness. It will be something new for me, as I haven’t been there yet, and I am in process of transformation. I have been arguing with God, the first week of this process, giving him my organic attitude on things in my life; I asked him to be normal. Normal for me meant to be like others… to have easier life in a worldly sense, to watch what others watch, to have someone special… but mostly I wanted my friends to see me as someone who is like them, someone who has problems, is weak and lonely at times and above all things, is not perfect or holy. Then I realized that I was so upset about all things in my life, because I realized that my life was not my own. I realized that I have been living not like the world, but according to God’s will, as much as I could discern it. YES! this made me more upset at God! I was screaming and crying! I wanted to leave that lifestyle, without leaving him. Then I realized that he already lives in me and even if I fall, he is falling with me. It is too late to simply walk away. I have told him over and over in my life that I love him, and he has been faithful to my promises, even though I may not always be faithful to his.

Then I was upset about my faith, which allows me to always love God and stay with him, being able to give him my organic attitude and go to all places with him. At the same time I was happy that I was still safe, because he was with me. I was afraid at some point that I would die; because of the deceptive thoughts which entered my heart and tried to tell me that I don’t need God. I am ashamed of that. Couple weeks after this, I realized that before this all started; I was praying that God would kill my pride. Simple as that. I prayed for humility. I knew that he would answer my prayer, because he always does but I didn’t know the way it was going to come to me and how long it would take. I asked him to kill my pride and he brought to the surface my ugly attitudes that I didn’t know I had toward him and myself. He exposed them not only to me, but first to others. My friends got to see the real me… the rebellious heart… selfish heart… controlling desires… the wild black dog that is inside of me and can bite. How much normal can one get? I wanted a normal life and now I have it… I am broken, I don’t dare to hide my problems anymore, my friends see that I am not that perfect as we thought, and I get to become a bit humble…I can breathe easier… God is killing my pride, taking away my religiosity and desires to be a youth pastor or a preacher… I even don’t think I can preach anymore… it is so great to give it all to him and be free!

I love God. I will always love God. I now want to love people, starting with one person a day. Just one… if I can do that I am the greatest youth leader there ever was and live out the best sermon I could ever give! If I only love people! so.. 'what if is stumble? is this one for the people, or is this one for the Lord?' [dc talk-song]

It's about love...

On this Valentine’s Day as you may think about love, those that you love or even the ones that love you, I want you to think about the gift of love that we have and which we take for granted everyday of our lives. That’s right! We take it for granted everyday. Bible says that God is love [1John 4:7-10], and because God is love we can all get to know Him, not only through a mind-set commitment, but also through our hearts and the feeling of love that we have when He speaks to us, touches us or even uses others as our friends and spouses to show us His real love- Himself. How does He show Himself to us from the day, in the most obvious way ever and how do we take it for granted?

The most beautiful book about creation, in the history of eternal truth and temporary world has the answer. “God spoke, ‘Let us make human beings in OUR IMAGE, make them REFLECTING our NATURE…’” [Genesis 1:26- MRemix]. You and I are made in the IMAGE of the Most Holy God- the Creator of all things visible and invisible, the designer of beauty and the ultimate Lover, who by filling us with His image, enabled us to love and to receive love. You and I show each other who God is, how He may look spiritually, how beautiful He is physically, how concerned He is with our daily affairs, how He can think, how He can make decisions, how He can create and how He can love and everything else that He can be, that we are and may become. You and I are walking realities of God’s presence in the universe and earth, in your home and in your school- everywhere! AHHHH!!!! Moreover, you and I reflect in our specific ways who God is and how He loves us. Through my friends, I get to know God in a way that only they can show Him to me, because He made them differently than He made me, for the purpose of loving one another, so that He could be revealed to us and made real- by the definition as we know ‘real’. Furthermore, He put us in life together, because He has a greater plan in mind from that meeting for our lives- can you believe that?! It is through my dear friends who are in love with God and who love me that I can be encouraged, kept accountable, strengthened and drawn closer to the Creator, because I then begin to see His image and character in my friends! Then you can think that you as a creation, believing or not believing, you are made in God’s image, because you ARE! Everything that is came from Him and you are because He made you… in His image… to reflect His nature… and His nature is …. Love…not selfishness or lust…. But LOVE. You and I ought to love and not worry about religion, but love others and love our God Almighty, the one who made you and I. So since you are made in His image, your friends will get to see Him through you… think abut this. How do you live your life in a way that it reflects God’s nature and honorably represents God’s image in you? For me to carry His image with me, wherever I go is a great honor. Honor that I don’t deserve. Honor that His love gives me.

I don’t want to talk much more here, but I really want to encourage you to think about this great gift that we have received in the beginning of times and get to enjoy everyday of our lives. Made in God’s image and reflecting His nature, are some of the greatest gifts of love that one can know and be given. His grace on me alone is so great that I continue to have this gift today, because I am able to live for Him this very moment. What a gift of love, seen in you and me, and in our friends, every time we see them, talk to them, or hear from them and yet we take it for granted, because we don’t take the time to think about it for a while and then see it everywhere we go. If you have spent some time thinking about that verse, and the idea of His image I encourage you to take this beautiful gift everywhere you go and share it with your friends. Tell them how beautiful they are, how they love you and how you ought to love them back, because that is what it means to be made by God- in His image and for God- to reflect His nature. His nature is … love. “For this is the original message we heard: We should love each other.” [1John 3:11 MRemix].

In AWE of GOD

“I remember the first time I was truly in awe of God. I was caught up for the first time in my life in something so massive and loving and transcendent and… true. Something I was sure could be trusted. I specifically remember thinking the universe was safe, in spite of all the horrible, tragic things in the world. I remember being overwhelmed...”

[Rob Bell- “Velvet Elvis”]
Being in awe of God… experience of ultimate reality…love…trust and… peace…Strength and rest… and courage…fulfillment… unity…praise… The definition explains awe as: “a mixed emotion of reverence, respect, dread and wonder inspired by authority, great beauty, sublimity or might;”

This past Monday I was once again in pure awe of God, overwhelmed by His glory and anointing of grace. God still brings us to His throne, so that we may experience His direct presence and give Him the praise and honor that He deserves. It is a gift to me, to recognize this state of awe for my God. It was a simple worship night for college kids thrown by the leaders of our college ministry. As we were worshiping, there was a picture of Jesus on the cross on one of the slides, but it made me wonder what it meant…honestly I didn’t like it, because Jesus was chained to the cross and I thought it was too violent or fake. I really didn’t like it. So I prayed to see what I meant, or maybe I prayed to get over my feelings toward that picture. I felt to leave my seat and worship on the back of the room, behind all my friends. This was a wonderful time of worship. I started down on my knees, laying before the cross all that was on my heart and mind [it was a hard week for me]. I asked God to meet with me…speak…and to show himself. I needed that. So, He came. During the next 30 or so minutes of worship my hands would stretch out very wide, like never before…I didn’t understand this, but I submitted to it and continued on worshiping God. At some point my arms were hurting because they were so stretched out and I wasn’t used it, but I still remained in that position…and then the glory of the Lord fell down on us. I felt like the Lord was trying to gather “us” together with those stretched arms and lock them, so we could be fully in his arms covered by his love and care. I don’t know what “us” meant. Was it the people in that room? Was it our generation? Was it my college? I don’t know, but I know that He was stretching His arms for us, to come to him, as one family. He showed me that we were a family, not a perfect one, [actually it was more imperfect than anything else] but if we accept this gift he gave us, to young college people, the gift of fellowship, the gift of a family, we will be stronger together. Alone, we would remain weak, just like I was weak that night, feeling alone. It is not easy to accept a gift of family like this. It requires me to humble myself and be honest and real with my friends about my heart; it requires me to kill my prideful nature; it requires me to be simple and yet so enriched by this freedom of trust and love. We are a family that tries to make things right, and God is the only one who can make us right with Him and then allow us to be right with one another. We are a family that needs to learn how to serve love and mercy to one another, because that will keep us together. I loved that vision. I was in awe. And I went up and shared that with my friends. Later, my friend told me about how he was reflecting on the same image of Christ on the cross, that we saw on the slide. He said what it meant to Him, and he said that my words made sense to him, although he told me to go and figure it out on my own. [Haha] The next day, I was reflecting on all of this. My question was, how could my pain of stretched out arms, feel so good! And then I was taken back to that picture of Jesus, His arms were so stretched out on the cross, it must have hurt him and yet he remained in that position of surrender. Was the way he died a symbol of his love for us and a sign, that we could be gather together again? Was it a calling to be a family? He could have escaped this death, but he didn’t. I could end my little pain, by putting my arms down but I didn’t, because that pain felt so good; I had joy int hat state of surrender and submission; I was not alone in it, I was with God and that awe of His Holy presence made me want to stay there. Jesus was not alone on the cross, He was with God…I wonder if he felt similar to what I felt? He knew he was doing it for Hs father who had a greater plan… To gather His lost children together, back to him, back to his arms…back to his heart…

I am trying to learn what it means to have this college group of friends for a family…College is a weird time of so-called-freedom to do life, to find your way, to grow in strength…we continuously fall trying to get it right, pride blinds us and liberal education feeds it; individualism is the big test and love is brokenness… expectations are our daily bread, and pressures to drink and fake love are the air we breath…we all are in it…we left home to be in…it was supposed to be good… and it can be…and it will be good as long as we accept this new family and together, not alone, will try to get it right. To crucify my pride and share love and mercy is what the family is for. They will help me, as I am there to help them do the same.
“The Christian is called not to individualism but to membership in the mystical body. A consideration of the differences between the secular collective and the mystical body, is therefore the first step to understanding how Christianity without being individualistic can yet counteract collectivism.”

[C.S.Lewis- “The Weight of Glory”].

Chaos...

Brokenness such a interesting feeling that one gets in their heart…we all need it… we all go through it… we usually don’t choose the time when it comes…it comes and molds us into someone vulnerable …something weak in a sense that allows us to realize the reality of our being and the greater connection to our God…brokenness draws us to our knees as we long for God… as we long for his truth…we long for his love…and God is love…
If brokenness is something that gets us before God and makes us realize that we miss him and long for him, than brokenness is a positive thing. For me brokenness is a reality check, that gets the focus off of me and shows me the true reality of myself, this world and God, especially that I cannot make myself broken and realize this on my own. It seems that brokenness is the work of God in me. We sing “brokenness, brokenness is what I long for... brokenness is what I need”, but how many of you while singing this song, can actually feel broken at that time or that night, because you want to feel it?

Today, I am broken for this world…for what religion can do to people…for the influence of leaders who long for love, and who cannot find it in anything else and so they tend to destroy those around them. Today, I my heart breaks open to the reality of cult groups that existed thirty years ago and exist today. I don’t think about them often, because I am not involved in one and can stay focus on one God that I love and known since I was little child. But everyday, there are many who are being hurt from those leaders who led them out from their families, friends and God…This is hard reality to process…I am feeling sick just thinking about it…I want to resist this reality…how can religion become so destructive and yet remain spiritual?...so evil?...so influential?...how can religion become so deceiving?...how can those leaders use the name of my God to harm people? He is God of love as far as I know him!

Peter talks about it as follows [this is Message Remix version of the Bible]:2 Peter 2:1-3
“But there were also lying prophets among the people then, just as there will be lying religious teachers among you. They’ll smuggle in destructive divisions, pitting you against each other- biting the hand of the One who gave them a chance to have their lives back! They’ve put themselves on a fast downhill slide to destruction, but not before they recruit a crowd of mixed-up followers who can’t tell right from wrong. They give the way of truth a bad name. they’re only out for themselves. They’ll say anything, anything, that sounds good to exploit you. They won’t of course get by with it. They’ll come to a bad end, for God has never just stood by and let that kind of thing go on.”

According to the Bible, in the last days there will be more and more of false teachers, and prophets described like those above…that is a terrifying thought…people will be brain washed with the false doctrine and promises…they will be going through hell on earth and have what will appear a blast, because they care about themselves only…I thank God for rescuing me from this and I pray that he will continue to protect me and reveal to me all those who try to trap me in their lies…will my friends be safe also…will they be protected by the only One and true God…are you safe…I don’t know…I pray you are…I write this so that you may be aware of those things…be prayfull about every church you enter, every speech you hear, everyone you meet who will try to tell you about the message of God…the truth is one: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit…but be careful my friends, for even the demons agree that Jesus is God…that’s why false prophets will use their names…look to Jesus and pray…question what you hear…and trust Jesus…God is not after us to harm us…the devil is…God’s love can overcome everything…focus on God’s love…read his word daily- that’s your way of knowing the truth! Above all know that Jesus is the only way to God, that is to say it will not be through jimmy or Bobby or Andy that you will get to Heaven but only only through Jesus: "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John14:6 [NIV] John records Jesus saying this over and over and over in his book. Only Jesus. Only one way.

Jesus I pray to you, the one and only one Son of God;the only GOd! Be with us in those days when demons try to constantly deceive us by using your precious and holy name for their purposes. The reality is that we are weak without you, your word and your truth. our brokenness reminds me of this tonight. I come to you for wisdom, discernment and truth. Fill me and my friends with all of these and your love. Protect us and lead us by your truth. Give us therefore the strength to read your word everyday, so that we may know what the truth is and what is not. Bring our spirits, bodies and heart into obedience to you and set us free from the bandages of lies that might be resting on us. Oh God of Jacob, you are the only God and we proclaim your name through Jesus. Thank you for your love and truth. We love you and may we never stop…

Stand Firm Generation!

“You won't have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch God's saving work for you take shape.” 2Chronicles 20:14 Message

This past summer I studied trees. For two months I just watched, touched them, talk to God about them and wrote about them. I studied their shapes, their roots, their branches and leafs, their fruits, their movements and especially their STILLNESS. I wanted to understand what it means to simply stand firm and watch God do the work, especially in times of battle. Trees stand firm, do nothing but stand firm. You cannot pick them up with your hands and move them to another place, you cannot pressure them to do things, you cannot redirect their focus by natural means. They just stand there, pointing to the sky. Trees stand firm. They don’t talk but do what God made them to do- they praise him by their simple existence and stillness. They are still watching their environment around them. People are not still. People are not standing firm, we tend to be in charge of everything else around us…and yet the Lord calls us to be firm…to stand firm and watch Him move.

Trees are able to stand firm because of their strong roots. Some trees are weaker than the others, because their roots are not developed and so when the wind storm comes, they will be the first ones to break and under the pressure of the wind fall and die. Roots are important for trees, the deeper the roots, the stronger the foundation. Observe branches…some appear to be stronger than others… some stretch to the sky to get the sun, and others go to the side as if they were distracted. The distracted branches will soon die, because they don’t reach for the sun, which gives them light to live, and they are not surrounded by other stronger branches that could cover over them and protect them. Then we have leafs. It is interesting to observe that the most beautiful leafs, filled with most life and color are found on the top of the tree. The branches that are closer to the sun will produce beautiful and rich in color leafs. Leafs and branches are moved only by the wind that blows on them and directs their movement and extend to which they will move. The branches and leafs have no choice, but to do what the winds has them do. And then finally the kind of fruit or lack of, that they produce. Overall, trees could be put in different categories. I saw some tress that were strong and intimidating me with their majesty; some trees overwhelmed me with their beauty; some were so weak that it would take only one blow of the wind and they would fall; some had their branches go to the left side, making the whole tree bend that way and finally fall or break; some trees had no leafs, their branches were dried out, but on the top there was hope- a beautiful green crown of newborn leafs; there were trees that were connected by their roots, their branches were united protecting one another, their trunks connected to make them stronger, both reaching to the sky- it was powerful; and yet there were some that were not connected by roots, only by their branches and you could see that they had divided focus, and so as the one tree leaned to the right side, the other one would also begin to lean and both would finally break and fall down once a gentle wind came- so sad. More and more, but the basic principle for every tree to make it through to storms was to have strong roots, reach for the sun, and finally stand firm.

I compared those observations with people. All the different trees are different kinds of people. I see the importance of their strong roots, as our importance of being in the Word of God, because it is it that will make us strong and stand the storms in our lives. The stretched out branches, are our arms constantly getting a hold of our Lord, in all that we do, symbolizing our surrender to Him. The trunk of the tree which focuses on growing up, are our hearts and eyes that constantly focus on the Lord only and His will for us. We cannot loose a sight of that, is we do, we begin to bend over and just like the tree that makes us weaker and leads to fall. Leafs are sings of how we are living our daily Christian life in this place, we can live it to the fullness or not. And then the fruits… if we produce good fruits in our lives, then this is yet another sign that we focus on our God and he sends us his blessings.

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corn.15:58
God tells us over and over to stand firm. For me this means to focus and rely only on Him; to surrender; to give him my all and my best of all; to be lost in him and to see him behind everything that is good and his; to know that he is in control and takes best care of me; to trust him; to be confident in him and him alone. To stand firm for me, means to let his will be done, and not mine; to let him do what he has been doing before the ages; and to accept the privilege of living a life of praise and enjoying all of his creation. It also means that he equipped me to be in this position of worship, so that the desires of my heart could take place… but that will be another blog. Simply research the phrase “stand firm” on BibleGateway and you will see, how important it is for us to stand firm as the Lord does his work around us. Stand firm does not mean not to speak up when injustice is taking place next to us…stand firm means to counsel first the kingdom of God before reacting on our impulses. Standing firm is not a waste of time…it is not being lazy or useless...standing firm is a call to us from God, which will allow us to see his will, to hear his voice and to do what we were meant to do…to surrender to him, to glorify him and to bring him honor…to worship him with our lives, spirits, hearts and bodies…to please him and to be pleased by him…as we take a part in his victory.

Lord Jesus, I pray that we will be like the trees: when prompted by your Holy Spirit to move, we will have no choice of our will but to make a move in the direction you lead us. I pray that we will not think about your call twice, but that we will wait firmly on you and make the move when the wind of your Spirit blows on us. Tress are a symbol of obedience and strength; submission and stillness…let us also become like the trees…patience and diligence is what we need Jesus… please pour it down on us, as we live in such a busy and unstable world. We are yours Jesus. This generation God is yours and always will be! In Jesus name, through the power of His blood shed for us, I pray. Amen.

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.” 1Corn.16:13 NLT
“It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ.” 2Corn. 1:21 NLT
“Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” Eph.6:11 NLT